Nostalgia

I am back on my blog after reading someone else’s work, and it was inspiring to feel someone else’s emotions flow through their play in words. It brought me back to my own blog, my own words with the hope to write to as well as them (read still way behind).

I debated if I should delete my older works and start afresh. I decided otherwise — I want my older works to be reminder of the person that I was; my ambitions when I was a teenager, and for it to serve as a constant reminder of the person that I once wanted to be–I still do.

I want to be inspired. I want to inspire.

I want to write. I want to speak. I want to shout. I want to scream.

i wish to fly someday

i wish to fly someday

reckless

breathless

i wish to fly someday

i wish to fly someday

without a care in the world

fearless, headfirst

i wish to fly someday

i wish to fly someday

with you

or without

i wish to fly someday

i wish to fly someday

homeless

penniless, alone

i wish to fly someday

grateful

today i feel grateful

for your existence

for your thoughtfulness

for your silent support through my pointless endeavors

through my grave mistakes

through my rage

today i feel grateful

for your sacrifices

for your ambitions

for your ears in my baseless rants

in my unsuccessful plans

and your words in my life

today i feel grateful

for you

and because of you

i am me

what is home

now that i’m far away i often find myself questioning what home is what is home is it a green two and a half storeyed building that received no sunlight in winter and was the best place to live in during summer is it the tiny bed that wouldn’t fit my legs when sleeping straight is it the green aquarium with three fishes that’d attack every new fish put in is it my eighty three year old grandmother who’d pull the blankets off my body and shout at me to wake up at six in the morning is it the noisy city with dust mismanagement and a hint of myself
i miss it

i miss my grandmother i miss our quarrels our love our childishness our fondness

A form of liberation

there is a strong sense of control and freedom one feels when not following the widely accepted rules of punctuation one has been so ardently taught to follow all their lives it feels liberating because for once you’re making your own rules choosing to not put a full stop after a perceived sentence because you choose not to and because the sentence is not over for you yet even though everyone else perceives it to be
tho consciously not trying to follow the widely accepted rules of punctuation i inadvertently skip to a new paragraph i dont know why maybe because this is an indication to my words addressing a new thought or taking a break from the previous one whatever it is the new paragraphs help me take a breath sighhhhh feels nice

Don’t you ever

Don’t you ever say I can’t because I know you can. I know how powerful you are. I know how impactful you can be.

Don’t you ever take a step back because  your experiences build you up. You can’t be someone you hope to be. You learn to become that person.

Don’t you ever cry for your mistakes because they are the reasons for the present you. They molded you into a braver person. They made you capable of being the person you aspire to become.

Don’t you ever worry about your imperfections because you are not meant to be perfect. You are meant to be you. You are meant to be imperfectly beautiful.

Don’t you ever worry about your boundaries because they don’t really exist. You are a bird, ready to fly. Your aims are limitless. You are limitless.

So, soar up high into the sky.

Fly higher.

Fly faster.

At times when you stumble along he way, turn to your right. I will be there, with a consoling hand on your shoulder. Whether you know me or not, I will be there because I wish the best for you.

I know you can and I know you will.

You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be successful. Most of all, you deserve to fly.

Un-Afraid

As a girl, there’s many things I’ve been at many times. But there’s always one thing I’ve never been able to escape from, always been that. What? Afraid.

I’ve been afraid.

I’ve been afraid to go out alone at night and even at day sometimes.

I’ve been afraid to be alone in a crowded place.

I’ve been afraid to travel alone in a taxi in the evening.

I’ve been afraid to speak up in fear of judgement.

I’ve been afraid to trust someone.

I’ve been afraid to openly talk, speak and behave like me at moments.

I’ve been afraid.

Many a time.

Always.

There’s one wish that I wish upon every single day, a wish for other girls and my future self – to be unafraid.

Life has been busy. Life has been tiresome. But most of all, life has been interesting.

Challenges the youth is facing

The search for a prosperous environment to thrive and foster is probably one of the biggest challenges the youth in my country is facing today. With every other day being declared as a ‘bandha’ just because a mere political party’s unimportant demands remain unaddressed, the so-called politicians who were supposed to be ‘example citizens’ turning out to be power-hungry men, ordinary citizens being granted jobs not on the basis of their credibility but by nepotism and favoritism and public institutions faring so poor because of incessant corruption, the ability to thrive and foster by being a responsible, optimistic and aware Nepali citizen has become challenge for the youth in the present context.

Similarly, I believe environmental concerns as another challenge for the youth in my country. Kathmandu, which was once an embodiment of beauty, is now a city that has become similar to a bag of waste. The air smells of dust. The land is full of litter thrown everywhere carelessly. Bagmati – the holy river- is now nothing more than a mere sewer. Youth in my country face this challenge- to maintain the sanity of the environment. The worst part of it all, unlike other countries, the majority of the people in Nepal are unaware about this issue. Tackling the environmental  concerns by making the citizens aware stands tall as another major challenge for youth in Nepal. 

Unnecessary Rants

I always complain about how difficult my life has become; how people have been giving me hard times; how I have been struggling. However, I never did realize that if my life was really hard or I was having hard times, I would not have the time or the energy to rant. Instead, I would actually be working to make things better.

What irony is this! When I am in no problem, I love complaining about having/being in a problem. Whrn I actually am, I don’t.